O Come Mall : The Faithful

Humour me - I'm feeling frivolous. And festive.

So - in the spirit of the nonexistent Jesus, god (small g) et al, I dedicate this to the Gods (big G - they make the world go round) of the 20th and 21st century commercialism, after whom this season is derived and the stupidity of those who persist in believing in ghosts and apparitions.

All together now - and don't waver on those high notes :

"Oh come mall the faithful
Edgars and the water bars
Woolworths and Checkers and the fine clothing stores
Come and be merry
Spend your cash entirely

O come and park in safety
O come and spend so hastily
O come and max your credit cards
Until the new year

Oh spend, throngs of housewives
Spend on sets of kitchen knives
Or spend it on furniture or home decor
Spend it - O spend it
We care not what you buy with it

(softly)
But spend with cash or credit
O spend and don't regard the debt
You'll get 3 months to pay
And then you'll regret it !

All hail god of finance
We greet thee with our bank advance
Born of debt and overdraft
You name is adored!
Buy now pay later
The bills are soon appearing

(softly)
But keep the money flowing
O keep the credit growing
And keep the masses from knowing
That the crunch is near!

Ah - men!